Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize