whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
