I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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