How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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