If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
