Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
