I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
