its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
