i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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