Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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