I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
