Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
