I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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