I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
