I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My brain says no but my pants say off.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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