Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
