Christians are straight up FREAKS
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
