Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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