okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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