Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
