so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
