Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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