I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
