On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Panties = found
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
