If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Bring me that man meat
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
