I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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