I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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