I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
