Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
