Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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