I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night