You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
