bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
