I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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