I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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