The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My ass is underappreciated
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
