i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
