is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
