yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
