Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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