Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
