WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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