I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
