And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
