New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
