After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
