dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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