she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
