I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
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There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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