can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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