His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
