Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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