i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
