I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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