You work out of a Hotel?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
