I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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