it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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