you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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