I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize